Conflict, when successfully managed, typically progresses through two stages: a differentiation stage (the airing of what is at issue) and an integration stage (an effort by the parties to deal with their differences in a manner that leads to an outcome or set of outcomes they find to be acceptable; in short, exhibiting positive forms of problem solving). See pp. 14-15.
Conflict can become “stuck” in the differentiation stage as a result of rigidity or inflexibility and an inability to clarify differences intelligently on the part of those involved, and in the process, induce one of two forms of destructive cycles: spiraling escalation or avoidance (pp. 15-19).
Symptoms of escalation include taking longer to deal with issues than anticipated; repetition of arguments and threats; and other issues listed in Table 1.1 (p. 22). Symptoms of avoidance include expressed indifference to reaching a settlement, tuning out, withholding of information, and other symptoms also listed in Table 1.1.
When the parties to a conflict succeed in not following either of the paths above (escalation or avoidance) and move to the integration phase, the odds of achieving workable and acceptable resolutions of differences improve considerably. Reaching such a point, however, often entails a process that Folger, Poole, and Stutman liken to “tacking” (a set of maneuvers in sailing that sailors have learned to use in moving the boat forward against the wind). The parties engage in a sometimes delicate balancing act of evading the pitfalls of either escalation or avoidance (Figure 1.2, p. 22).
To assist in escaping the trap of rigidity, an understanding of the properties of conflict interaction is needed; four of these properties are especially noteworthy (pp.23-36):
Conflict arises as a result of how individuals react to incompatibilities in positions concerning goals, the means of achieving them, and the obstacles they each seem to pose; in short, the moves and countermoves of the interactants.
Patterns of interaction are self-perpetuating and intensify over time, which suggests that one needs to take steps early to prevent destructive cycles from taking hold, namely, escalation and avoidance.
Conflict interaction both affects and is affected by the relationships of those involved.
Conflict interaction is affected by personal and relational histories and climate, or the prevailing temper of the situation, which presumably can in turn affect climate. Individuals having such understandings are better equipped to steer a course that enables them to move from the differentiation phase of conflict to the integration stage.
