Did Your Parents Really Ruin Your Life?

You might be surprised to learn that nature plays a large role in determining your personality and cognitive abilities. So we must ask, "Aside from insuring that the child is cared for, does parenting even matter?"  The answer is an overwhelming YES! Throughout the course you will see that social, situational, and environmental influences also influence who we become and how we behave.

One clear example of how nurture can affect the development of our mental environment involves attachment. We all have attachments. Some of us are attached to our pets, or our cars. Younger children are often attached to stuffed animals or soft blankets. For our purposes, we will define attachment as an emotional tie with another person. More specifically, we are interested in the emotional bond between the child and the primary caregiver...usually (but not necessarily) the mother.   

About 70% of children form secure attachments with their primary caregiver. Securely attached children develop a basic trust in the world and come to believe that they can gain some control over their environment – they learn that the world is predictable and reliable. Because of this, securely attached children explore the world more actively, address more curiosities, and consequently develop better problem-solving skills. Children who form secure attachments are also more likely to develop social competence. They are more likely to become cooperative and obedient (in a good way that signifies trust in the caregiver), have better peer relationships later in life, and are less likely to engage in deviant behavior. Securely attached children are also more likely to form other secure and trusting attachments later in life. 

Insecurely attached children do not develop a basic trust in the world. This can inhibit the child's curiosity and motivation to explore the world. Because the child loses opportunities to actively learn about the world, problem-solving skills develop more slowly. Children who form insecure attachments are more likely to show fearful and clingy attachments or avoid attachments later in life (we'll return to this idea when we discuss Love and Emotion). Such children are more likely to engage in deviant behavior as teenagers or adults, develop behavioral problems, and spend time in jail. 

So, how does nurturance affect attachment?

At first, researchers used to believe that nutrition and survival were at the root of attachment. The idea was that babies formed attachments to their mothers because their mothers served as the primary source of food and consequently, survival. This idea lasted until Harry Harlow published his famous research. Harlow, who worked in a primate lab, noticed that his monkeys had formed attachments to the blankets that were put in their cages to serve as bedding. When the lab maid went to change the blankets, the monkeys would throw a fit. "How can this be," Harlow thought, "The blankets do not provide any nourishment..." Intrigued, Harlow conducted a study using two monkey mannequins. Harlow's research showed that baby monkeys preferred a softer cloth mannequin that did not provide any nourishment to a chicken-wire mannequin that was equipped with a bottle. The baby monkeys formed such strong attachments to the cloth mannequin that they would go to great lengths to maintain contact with it when they tired to drink from the wire mannequin. Clearly, comforting contact was important to the baby monkeys. Since then researchers have gone on to show that physical contact is an important determinant of human attachment. Parents who cuddle their children regularly are more likely to have children who form secure attachments. 

Parental responsiveness also affects attachment. Children of parents who regularly respond to their needs are more likely to form secure attachments. Such parents not only respond to their child's cries and concerns, but do so appropriately...feeding the child when hungry, changing the child when wet, and so on. Children of parents who regularly fail to respond to their child's needs are more likely to form insecure attachments. Such parents may ignore their child's cries and concerns, or respond inappropriately...by force-feeding the child when it really needs a diaper change, for example.