1.2.1 Where Personality Comes From
Where does your personality come from? It appears that personality emerges from a number of sources--remember, humans are complex. The most likely sources are:
Genetics: Keep in mind that even if your mother has blue eyes, you may have brown. However, even if physical characteristics from biological family members differ, somewhere in your ancestry someone probably had personality traits similar to yours.
Environment: The debate between nature and nurture is a pointless one, in my view, because both matter. The way that you are raised influences your personality. However, two siblings raised in the same home will have different personalities.
Cultural and Social Factors: Values learned by observing others in our society will influence our personality. We may even imitate the behavior of others and that behavior may lead to personality shifts. For example, in a society that shares food and shelter, one may become more oriented toward others or less individualistic.
Situational Factors: People who live with daily stress caused by war, hunger, or great excesses will be influenced by their circumstances.
Although there is much debate about this, I believe that personality is formed at a very early age, probably by four or five years old. Research suggests that our personality is stable--it doesn't change over time. We may fake our personality and behave in ways that coincide with a particular group's standards and values, but the personality does not change. Some studies have concluded that personality changes only after a very traumatic event like the death of a close relative or the experience of fighting in a war. Many students have debated me over this because they believe that they have changed over time. Most likely, though, they have changed their behavior to get something that they wanted. For example, a "wild thing" who used to ride a motorcycle, hang with his "boys," and think of himself as a "rebel" may meet a great woman, marry, have a house and children, own a minivan, and work in a cubicle. Does this mean that his personality has changed? Check back when he goes through his mid-life crisis in his 40's or 50's. Most of us must adjust our behavior to fit societal standards or to please an individual who matters to us. That doesn't mean that our personalities have changed.